Every once in a while, when you're usually just about to sink into the cushiness of life, it throws you a curveball which makes you question your very core, re-examine the fibres of your moral compass and in general make you feel as comfortable and prepared as Sourav Ganguly facing an Ntini bouncer.
When should Sachin score that blasted hundred?
As a self-respecting Indian, I have no choice but to have an opinion. The answer has been easy thus far- 2 years ago. The last, sigh, 9 tests have been dutifully followed with bated breath, and dutifully followed by acute heartache. Discussions on how Sachin being stranded on 99 centuries would be stuff of legend have been dutifully put to rest with rediff-style comments. But the current situation is delicate.
As a Sachin fan (Trivia: what is the opposite of 'Sachin fan'? Traitor? Correct.) in Bombay, I'm faced with a moral dilemma. As tomorrow dawns bright and sunny in Kolkata, dare I pray for Sachin's failure so that the Kohinoor of milestones be achieved before my eyes? Dare I align myself with the Dravid-wing extremists, the apostates, and the scum of Indian society who I've always thought deserve a couple of quiet years in North Korea?
The decision is multifactorial, you see. Everyone knows moving 2 and a half inches towards the north-east during the bowler’s run-up in the 49th ball of a Sachin innings is directly related to His dismissal two minutes later. Who knows what winds of change my butterfly will bring? Can I live with myself if he does *shudder* fail, or must I live with a perpetual albatross around my neck? Will I live out the rest of my life with the knowledge that I am personally responsible for Sachin’s century count being less by 2? I’ve clearly been jinxing Sachin these last 9 tests, will praying for his failure do the trick in Kolkata? Will this knowledge reverse-jinx him instead?
My daily prayers, and the Kolkata test, are set to start soon. I must decide what to ask the Gods (the one in white and the other ones),
Let it rain*.
(PS: Gods, Option 2 is a West Indian collapse of 100 and Sachin guiding India with an unbeaten half century)
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