The Great Indian Family

All Indian family get-togethers (the ones at fancy air-conditioned restaurants with tables joined) have some things in common- comments on fluctuations in adipose content, a paneer dish, a discussion of the Indian economy (males) and extended family gossip disguised under genuine concern (female).

As my stomach struggles to digest the remains of the paneer tikka and the chinese platter, my brain tries to wrap its head around all that has changed over the years, at how family lunches of today differ from those of yore (yes I'm old enough to use that word).

Half my cousins are NRIs/foreign returns, and tales of London and Dubai are thrown around like those of Chembur and Mylapore. It's amazing to hear about the latest technological and architectural marvels...but sometimes you can sense the older generation getting a tad indifferent. It's hard being interested in something you can't connect to, isn't it? Despite Hindi and Tamizh being the common languages of the group, the conversation flowed in English (often British tinged), as we watched Tamizh fade away from our lives, waving a cheery good-bye. Each generation thinks in a different language, and while that doesn't affect inter-personal communication, it does bring about a disconnect, particularly when humour is involved.

And then came the master blow- as Uncle ordered prawns. At a Tam-Brahm lunch, where servers are normally issued the 'vegetarian only' rule in advance with each dish being subjected to further cross-examination upon its arrival. Awkward shuffling around the table ensued while everyone peered with intense concentration into their menu cards, Well, everyone except my 17 year old cousin who chose this precise moment to demand a glass of beer from his horrified dad.

Ah, how times change.

And then two things happened. My silent, introverted brother who I love very much hugged me out of the blue, and a distant grandmother tenderly kissed me on both cheeks and said she wanted to spend time with me with such warmth that my heart melted, and I thanked God that the paneer dish wasn't the only thing about these get-togethers that would always remain constant.